my beaver smells like chocolate (and other funny things my kids say)

I used to have a blog on one of those social networking sites that starts with 'my' and ends with 'space.' I hadn't been there in a LONG time and thought I'd go rescue the ramblings and put them here so I'd have everything in one happy place :)
This is from Sept. 2006
Enjoy!

okay, i just about spit coffee through my nose when eli came running into the kitchen shrieking that his beaver smells like chocolate.  i choked on it when sam asked to smell his beaver.  before i go any further, let me clarify that the beaver we speak of is a stuffed animal,  and it smells like chocolate because it was laying right next to eli's chocolate scented easter bunny his mimi got him.  (eli is very into the way things smell) these are my innocent children, who have no idea how incredibly hilarious they are.  i am going to try to compose a list of the funniest thing my kids have said/done in their short time here.  i'm sure this will be an ongoing list because, as my own mother can attest to, we don't stop doing/saying goofy things just because we're 30 (or 27, ms. "game of death!")  feel free to add your own funny kid stories as comments, then any time any of us are feeling a little blue, or just wanting to hang a "free to a good home" sign around our children's necks and sit them in the front yard, we can re-visit this blog and cheer ourselves up.  we may possibly even save our children from being handed over to some weirdo desperate for child labor.
1) sam, at about age 3:  while eric was drying him off after a bath, sam looked down at his not quite flaccid penis and said "hey, dad, what is this?  did i swallow a chicken bone or something?"
2) sam, at about age 2:  after watching an episode of reading rainbow, sam came bursting in the bathroom while i was in the shower and announced "i'm doing teamwork!"  to which i replied, "oh, yeah, who else is on your team?"  his answer-"no one, i do teamwork all by myself!"
3) also after an episode of reading rainbow- this one happened to be on slavery.  sam and i had a long discussion about slavery and what it was all about.  at this point (and still to this day) sam made no differentiation between black and white people.  we have just never used color to describe people if it wasn't relative to whatever story we were relating.  but it was relative to the story of slavery, so we talked about it.  later that day, we went to the store.  when we walked in we were the only white people in there.  sam wondered aloud (very aloud) why they weren't all in chains.  you can imagine the looks we got.
4) also sam, also racially related:  as i said before, sam never calls people "black" or white."  instead, he tends (or did) to call people by the color of their shirt.  one day we were at city park and sam was playing with a couple of boys, one white, one black.  when it was time for the white kid (with a black shirt on) to leave, sam hollers "hey, where's that black boy?" the other little boy (known as the "red boy" to sam) said "here i am!"  
5) eli- for about 6 months his threat to anyone who ticked him off was "i'll leave you at burger king!" *note- this was never a threat to him and never actually happened!
6) this one isn't as much funny as it is humbling and heart-warming-  when sam was 4, we were reading in one of his kids' encyclopedias about people of the world.  one excerpt was about peruvians.  there was a picture of a llama and the caption read "llamas are used as pack animals, as well as food sometimes"  sam was appalled.  i guess up until this point, we hadn't had the whole "meat talk."  we did then.  pork is pig, beef is cow, chicken is chicken, etc.  he said "well that's not really fair to the animals!  i don't think i want to eat meat anymore."  sam is a very passionate kid and also makes pretty healthy choices when it comes to food, so i let it go.  i wasn't going to force him to eat wilbur or elsie, you know?  he prayed about it for about a week.  during this time he didn't eat meat at all.  after about 4 or 5 days, he came to me and said " you know mom, god gives us animals for different reasons.  some are to play with, some do work for us and some are to eat!"  i couldn't have said it better myself.
7) now i'm getting in to thinking about all of the sweet innocence and compassion that makes up sam.  most of you have probably already heard about this, but i'll list it for posterity's sake.  this past january, sam turned 6.  sometime in december, we started talking about what kind of party he wanted to have.  sam had been overwhelmed by the generosity of people who had sent us so much stuff after katrina.  some of them were complete strangers.  he wanted to do something, too.  he knew how blessed we were to have made it out with our entire family and our animals.  he was heartbroken about all of the animals that were left behind and separated from their families.  sam, on his own accord, decided to ask people to bring either a bag of cat food or dog food to be donated to the local animal shelter in lieu of a gift for him.   this kid sure puts me in my place sometimes.
8) sam was about 2 1/2 while i was pregnant with eli.  when asked whether he wanted a little brother or sister, he replied without missing a beat " hmmm, i want pie!"  
9) sam, who is always (mostly) conscious of his manners and of being "proper" (no elbows on the table, please!)  once exclaimed as we were sitting down to dinner "bone up to eat!" (that's bon appetite, to you folks without an internal kid-translator)
10) the other night, i was laying in bed with eli.  he was just laying there grinning, so i asked him "are you happy?"  he said "yes."  i said "what makes you happy?"  he answered withough missing a beat,  "easter bunnies and roly-poly bugs."  aaaaahhhhh, to be so innocent!
11) eric shared this with me yesterday:  he and sam were in the truck taking a movie back to the library, "darby o'gill and the little people."  sam asked if leprechauns were real, to which eric replied that they were not, but it was fun to tell stories about them.  after thinking for a minute, sam said "hey, dad, you know what we need at our house? a midget.  they don't cause any trouble, they just like to sing a lot."
12) sam went to school for a total of 4 days earlier this year (we're homeschooling again).  on the second day, he came home with the story of a crush!  a little girl was chasing him around trying to kiss him.  he was pretty concerned about it and was trying to think of different ways he could avoid her (staying home, wearing a disguise, etc.) i finally convinced him to talk to her and tell her he didn't want a girlfriend (if that was the case).  so, they were in line when he told here "i have  a plan for my life."  (you can imagine the look on the 6yo girl's face!)  when i'm 16, i will have a girlfriend because i will have two cars; a limousine and an amphibian car so i can take her to the movies and swimming.  but i'm not 16 yet.